Is it happiness?

There is a tendency of man to find complacency. A place where he is comfortable, and content. In this place whether it be physical or mental, there is no need for anything. This is what springs two methods of thinking of any observers of the complacent man. The first method is that the man has reached a spot in his life that he should work to keep. He no longer yearns for any other wants or desires. Perhaps things are not perfect, but they are overall good and he is happy. If it ain't broke don't fix it. There is nothing overwhelmingly wrong in his life, so he should find joy in the happiness he has been lucky enough to obtain.

On the other hand, an observer may tell the man he should not be satisfied solely with what he has. That he is wasting his life if he is truly content with staying where he is. Even if he is happy, he is not perfect. Although he may never be perfect, he can always improve. Innovation will lead him to even greater fulfillment. Even, if he does not obtain what he wanted, at least he will have tried. There was an attempt to find meaning.

Sure there are other ways the man could look at things. He could try to spread his happiness, bring others in less fortunate stages to the paradise he is in. Or he could mix the previous two, look for change, but don't do anything that could harm the place he is in. Make sure there is a safety net.

But to me, the first two methods provide the most interesting debate. The thought that being content in your own belief may or not may be correct. Some may say it is greedy to look for more than happiness, others may say it's selfish not to reach one's happiness. Is it enough for a person to be happy? What more could someone want from life. If they have obtained a place that makes them happy and will continuously do so, why push for more. It may be an idealistic scenario, this place may not be possible at all. But, if it were, would any member of humanity be willing to just accept everything as is. Even if outwardly they say they are content, would anyone truly be okay with living the same way for so long? But, that same way makes them happy, perhaps there wouldn't be a reason to want more.

Whatever You Like

I'm sorry, admittedly I have been too busy to write anything new lately. So this old thing I wrote will have to please whoever it is that reads this blog. But, if you are reading this I appreciate your time and hope you enjoy. Tell your friends, or don't. I'll never know. Anyway

Why do I constantly look for answers? Are there truly any questions? I find myself always looking for a sufficient truth about the world. As though there is a key to life. As though I need something to look for. Something that is always true. Maybe there are multiple keys I am looking for. First is that undeniable truth, either a philosophy or idea to live my life on. And then a feeling to coincide with that philosophy, so that I can keep my conscience clean and truly enjoy my life. However, how can there be an undeniable truth, something that will always be true. Take for example something so simple as your skin. I’ll use my own skin. I am classified as “white” which is truly pale, in the light. If you look at me in the dark I do not look white or pale. My color has not changed, but there is a different perception. You may say my true color is the pale, we just can’t see it in the light. However, who’s to say this darker gray isn’t my true color. In fact the lighter version only comes from radiation from the sun or electricity. It is syndicated. My natural state is dark. But there is not one shade, different amounts of light exposure will vary my skin tone. But, there is not one skin color that is true to me. So goes this answer to life. There is not one true philosophy. There is no almighty truth that will lead me to happiness. There is variation. Every single aspect of everything has a different possible outcome. Of course once something has happened, it cannot be undone. The real key is that there is no one key, to understand perception is different for everyone and everything. You can’t blind yourself to one truth, by only allowing yourself one path; you deny the opportunity to all the others. This means you have found a truth that is false. Then again, if it’s the path you’ve chosen, isn’t it the truth?

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Where Does it Lead?

I once could see people. There was a time when I could read the look on someone's face and truly feel as though I understand them. I used to be so concerned with what other people thought, that I couldn't sleep at night out of anxiety that I was too inferior to be in the presence of everyone else. I wanted everyone else to feel happy. I wanted everything to work out for others. I was unhappy, but I was able to think for other people. I felt as though all the pain I felt, was to help someone else. This was a terrible, terrible lie. Not in the way I would have thought. I would have figured that I should be able to find my own happiness, while still being able to help other people. By not caring what other people thought about me, I could actually be myself and enjoy the decisions I make. However, this has not been the case. After being in a situation where I had mostly cared only about someone Else's feelings and making sure they were happy, I was left to find my own happiness. During that particular time, I did not care what everyone else wanted, but just this one person. However, there was a time when this had to end. But, I still found myself not caring about what everyone else thought. For the first time in my life, I only had myself to care about. This put me in an uncomfortable situation. I am finding what it is I really want, so until then, I could not truly embrace finding my own happiness. Instead, I would like to find the feelings where I could understand, and then help the people around me.
             I have become lost, I am isolated in my own feeling. Too insecure to do what will make me happy, and too dependent on other people's happiness to find it for myself. There is no middle ground, there is only pain I find. Whether, it was being lost in the sacrifice of others, or in the self-oriented whirlpool that had caught my emotions and blocked out my ability to feel sympathy or empathy. Maybe, if I find what I want, I can lose this misery. But, how can I know what I want, there is so much and life, and it is so hard to find fulfillment. So, I will forever be lost in contemplation, of why? Why must I feel like this? I could think of how to stop it. But, I have lost the ability to help anyone, even me. I don't know if I ever knew how to help me.

Philosphical Necessity

It's been a while since I posted anything that had any deeper meaning to it. I'm going to try to regain my intellectuality and perception. Amongst the hollow minds that fill the halls of society, there are many who retain great amounts of wisdom and true knowledge. These are the people who allow themselves the ability to go beyond their own perceptions, and see multiple viewpoints in all that is around them. There is no singularity to any of their thinking. Subjectivity is nonexistent. They understand the very essence of why we are human, and what must be done because we are human. They make logical decisions based on intelligent convention on what method will allow the most productive way of life in the future. They also attempt to understand the causes of the problems that plague the known world. They come up with mathematically precise answers to help provide the best answer to these problems. However, these people exist in rarity. They can seldom be found, yet they exist in all people. There is potential for all people to be these intelligent ideal examples of humanity. But, they also are pierced with the natural tendencies of morality and emotion that deny them their potential. We could all use all our time to provide for the greater good of humanity, but we are preoccupied with finding happiness. This is the plague of man. But, it is also why man can exist. We are the only known intelligent life forms in the human world. Therefore, we can understand the necessity of joy in allowing us to function at any capacity.

Enough is Enough

I can't think of anything to say anymore man. I don't know what to make of the world anymore. I've lost my philosophies, my personal perspectives, and have found only confusion. What tends to sound the best is what is real in life.  Things that have truly happened, stories that can be related to, what if I have nothing but fables, a series of untold lies and bullshit based on nothing but the pathos of the the human psyche. Nothing but the cynical method of thinking that I have. It's not really that interesting, nothing in life is really that interesting. I've tried writing about happy thoughts, but I guess unicorns, ponies, and pretty fucking flowers aren't my thing. I have been running from sadness my whole life. Yet, I find some sort of fucked up solace in it. As though by being able to acknowledge negativity, I feel smarter. That might be the biggest bullshit in the world, but in some way I find it true. As though I can allow myself to understand other people in their weak moments, because I know what it's like to feel like shit. That sounds corny, fuck that. I am closer to people because we both know what it's like to have shitty lives. That sounds better. But, still, from a more intelligent view I think my sadness connects me to people. It's like I'm Jesus, only I'm not lying about my fake prophecy and I don't have schizophrenia, yet. I don't know, nobody reads this shit anyway. Life exists because death is too fucking boring. Nothing is really that important to get mad over. Yet, we're all bound to get pissed off at some point. So we should just learn to deal with it. If you can't, I can't either, but I guess it makes sense to just keep all my emotions bottled up until death. That's how to win. All see you all in hell, but I'll be watching from heaven, with Satan.

Turn Something into Nothing

Often I find myself in a feeling of discontent. Whether it be anxiety, depression, sadness, or whatever other emotional distress restricts me from personal happiness. I used to have overwhelming thoughts followed by even more thought. Whether it was over feeling lonely, broken, or worthless. One thought would storm in after another, like a never ending tornado throwing my emotions in all sorts of directions. I used to try to kill this natural disaster with even more thought. I would try to figure out some sort of importance in life. I would search for some philosophical meaning to life, which would in turn make feel like I understand life, and thus make me feel as though I had some self-worth through this knowledge. By productively figuring life out I felt as though I was achieving something. However, I am still at a point in my life where I am constantly learning new things and finding different perspectives. I have come to the belief (at the moment) that it is not just that man is afraid of the unknown, but that no matter what we are always going to live in the unknown. Not just that man fears what he cannot understand, or that we come to improper conclusions because we are afraid to accept the possibility of nothingness, but that we also need to have something in our lives. Although we may live a universe with vast nothingness, we as people believe ourselves to be something. It provides us with worth, which then gives us the determination to strive and turn the nothing around us into something. By making it something we are making it known, and we do not have to be staring into a darkness that holds many mysteries.

Yet, no matter how many discoveries or realizations we come to, there will always be unknowns. The universe is ever expanding, there is no end to what lies in humanities potential. But, just as we strive to turn nothing into something, we must also accept that there will always be things we cannot understand. A new part of my philosophy towards mental or emotional discontent is to clear the mind. I used to observe the world around me and make grand discoveries about it, but I would not ever be able to make a grand conclusion on any of life's vague subjects. By looking up into space, I realized how little human society plays in the universal structure of life. By allowing myself to accept that we cannot know everything about existence, I was able to feel more comfortable with my own personal philosophy. I may still have emotional discontent, but it is no longer a problem of self-worth. Because worth is a completely made up idea, and we will never truly understand how it was brought about in human culture. But it has made an influence in our society. Life is filled with mysteries, you can do your best to find out where they come from and what they mean, but if you try to find everything you will miss the fact that nothingness allows us to have something. By not knowing things, we allow ourselves room to understand more. We cannot find more if there is nothing left to find.

Emotional Ramblings

I've been told happiness is a choice. That if I just think positively, be confident and not care what anyone thinks, then I'll have a good time and everything will work out. Somehow, I feel like this is not true. Sadness in a natural human emotion. Every single person has problems. Happiness is just as well a natural emotion. Everyone experiences both of these emotions. To say either is a choice seems odd to me. Maybe I'm just a pessimist who sees the worst of every situation. Perhaps, I'm just not making the right choices. But, I have gone in with a positive attitude for various events in my life, and I often still fell as though I am leaving myself out of the human experience. I am choosing to be more proactive, and finding more things to do, but yet I still feel left out of life sometimes. As though there is something I am missing. People have told me it's counterproductive to write about negative tendencies and that positivity should be the key idea to give to the reader. So I will try, I will tell you that happiness sure feels a lot better than sadness. And the more you can be happy, the more fun you will have in life. But, you don't have to be happy. Sometimes, sadness is necessary to be happy later on in life. The good times feel better if they mean something. But, if there is a moment where you are distressed, and just need to let out some emotion, then you're only being human. All the best.