My Problem

My real problem is that I think too highly of myself. I think I'm supposed to be this great person. I feel like I'm supposed to be the next Socrates mixed with Martin Luther King and Jesus. Even this blog is coming to an end. Nobody wants to hear about my shitty problems. No one else should have to listen with my shitty problems. That's why there mine, right? My problem is that even though I think so highly of myself, in interactions with others, I try to be beneath people. I tell them everyone is equal in importance because that's true, but I don't think I believe it. I'm constantly contradicting whether I believe that people all have problems of equal importance, or if my problems are more important. It seems that in overall outlook of life, everyone's problems are equally unimportant to everyone else. However, my personal life and experiences are more important to me because it is my life. Because it is my life, I must be able to handle my problems, and allow myself to be content before I can help others. But, I don't do that. I don't know the last time I yelled at someone. The last time I really yelled at someone. I get mad often, but never physically. I need to release the anger before it builds up. I even told my ex not to worry about anything, and that it was okay what she did. Even though I don't think I'm over it. I constantly put people before me, even though I don't truly believe they should be there. I need to get my shit together. My problem is that I need to stick up for myself every goddam once in a while.

Maybe I'll Write A Song Someday

You wanna play with fire,
You talk about heaven and desire.
I'm here to put it to rest,
cuz each word is a shot to my chest.
I only have one request,
please just leave me aside,
I've got the voice of a dramatic ass,
and all I do is live in the past.
I want to fall in love for the first time,
but its already past,
I don't miss you,
I miss what you meant.
I want to start again, but I won't get the chance,
You say you want help, but I hate you,
but not as much..
not as much..
as I hate me

Just the way it is

In my anthropology class, it seems we are trying to understand people and the way they interact with one another. It's almost as though we are trying to predict the way that they will function based on the way they have acted in the past. This idea seems practical in the sense that it will teach us what types of interactions work and both how and why they have worked. But, I don't think we can always understand the reasoning behind something. The rationale people use is often irrational. There may not be a scientific reasoning behind it nor a spiritual reasoning. Things may be done by nature or by impulse. People can choose to believe that things happen innately or socially, but they cannot prove this. Even if the subject admits to doing one, there is no way to truthfully know that the subject is being sincere. They may have no reason to lie, but the very fact that we can't know if they are telling the truth prevents any conclusion from accepting their statement.